I spent most of my twenties trying to impress people I didn’t even like. Not in obvious ways. I wasn’t boasting or name-dropping. It was quieter than that. More exhausting. I’d edit my opinions before speaking. Soften my edges. Laugh at jokes I didn’t find funny. Choose restaurants based on what would seem sophisticated, not […]
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My phone knows I’m single before I do. It’s Tuesday. I’m at Gregory’s on Park Ave. The line’s seven people deep. Everyone’s on their phones. I’m on mine too. Emma, 31, liked my photo. I don’t know Emma. The app says we’re 87% compatible. The app doesn’t know I still listen to The Strokes unironically. […]
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British philosopher Alan Watts often suggested that when the things that once excited us stop working, it doesn’t mean we’re broken. Especially in midlife, when old motivations fade, that quiet can feel unsettling. But it may point to something deeper: a shift away from chasing constant stimulation and toward a more grounded way of experiencing […]
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I used to believe there was something fundamentally off about me. I’d show up at networking mixers, cocktail hours, even laid-back barbecues with friends, and watch other men switch on. They’d grow louder, more animated, energized by the crowd as if they’d plugged into some invisible power source. By the end of the night, they […]
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There’s a peculiar loneliness that comes with outgrowing everyone around you. Not in achievement or status, but in awareness. Not the loneliness of being alone, but something stranger: being surrounded by people you’ve known for decades while feeling like you’re speaking a completely different language. I’ve felt it at dinner parties where the conversation circles […]
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Midlife Doesn’t Always Look Like We Imagined At some point after 40, a quiet realization sets in: You’re probably not going to become the man you once pictured in your 20s or early 30s. For years, that realization flickered in the background of my thoughts. It didn’t come as a breakdown or dramatic life pivot, […]
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For many men over 40, life can feel like a paradox. On the surface, they may have achieved professional success, built families, and checked the traditional boxes of a well-established life. Yet beneath these visible accomplishments, unresolved childhood trauma and difficult childhood experiences often continue to shape their inner world, quietly influencing thoughts, behaviors, emotional […]
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